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Showing posts from May, 2010

Ah yes but

Me: "Hi there XXX I'm ringing about the £800 labor costs outstanding for 5 months now"
Customer: "Well I thought all those costs was covered under warranty"
Me: "No, Warranty covers the hardware not the labour"
Customer: "Well I didn't know it was a refurbished Server"
Me: "Oh come on XXX not only did you know but in fact you are on your 3rd replacement server which we have not charged you a penny for!"
Customer: "Well what about the backups?"
Me: "What about them?"
Customer: "They're not being done"
Me: "I don't understand what do you mean they are not being done?"
Customer: "Nobody has done a backup"
Me: "Erm thats your responsibility you need to do it"
Customer: "Well what about the BroadBand?"
Me: "What about it?"
Customer: "I thought the price was for everything"
Me: "We seem to be getting nowhere, at the end of the day the outstanding…

Number one company

Customer: "Hello I need to send a picture but the girl who normally does that sort of thing is not in until mid week"
Me: "OK do you know how to attach a file to an email?"
Customer: "No but I know how to create emails"
Me: "OK can you see that paper clip? click on it and it becomes a browse feature, browse to where the picture is, select it and say OK, its attached""
Customer: "I cant see it"
Me: "Do you know where it is? Is it in /my documents/Pictures?"
Customer: "No its on my desk"
Me: "Ah your desktop OK lets browse to ........."
Customer: "No no I mean its on my desk I'll have to scan it in, how do I do that?"
And people wonder why we cant compete against the rest of the world.

Home user blues

Customer: "Hello can you give me a price on a computer package?"
Me: "OK are you a home user?"
Customer: "Yes"
Me: "OK we are really for business but I can give you some numbers of companies that can help you, when you say package what do you mean are you looking for a new computer?"
Customer: "If the price is right I want it for my kids so they can write stuff we have a computer here"
Me: "Aha, you have a computer? Then you just need an office package."
Customer: "My computer is broken"
Me: "OK give xxxx a call he can either fix yours or give you a price for a replacement"
If I'd have sold her a unit she would have been on the phone every day "We cant play this, how do I do that?",

Have you paid?

Customer: "Can you check our Broad Band we cant seem to get on the Internet and we have not had any mail since Friday"
Me: "Your lines been ceased!"
Customer: "Oh I think we haven't paid the bill"
Me: "That'll do it" :'-)
What more can I say?