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Showing posts from September, 2010

To serve or not to serve

Customer: "I cant get on the O: drive or the Internet"
Me: "Your server is down? Have you switched it off?"
Customer: "I dunno I haven't"
Me: "Can you switch it back on"
Customer: "How do I do that?"
Me: "See that button near the logo? press it"
Customer: "Oh some lights have come on"
Me: "Yes its booting did you not look at it when you couldn't get on the O: drive then?"Basics.

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Customer: "Hi have you got a problem with your Internet?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Customer: "I cant get on the site from my favorites it says insecure site"
Me: "Ah that means they either issue their own certificate, or the certificate has expired"
Customer: "Well its not done that before I used it the other day"
Me: "Things change"
Customer: "What do I do?"
Me: "It should say something like get me out of here or continue but not recommended"
Customer: "It says continue not recommended in brackets"
Me: "There you go click on that"
Customer: "You sure its not your servers?"
Me: "No its nothing to do with us at all we are not the Internet"
Customer: "We get our Internet from you?"
Me: "No you access the Internet via us, what everyone does on the Internet is not our responsibility"
Customer: "Well I cant be doing with this every day who do I speak to about it…

Assume

Colleague: "Why is xxxxx not on our database?"
Me: "Because nobody has bothered to put them on?"
Colleague: "Why is his division not on the database?"
Me: "Yes it is look xxxxxx a divison of xxxxxx"
Colleague: "Whats his phone number?"
Me: "I have no idea we have just ascertained he does not have a record"
Colleague: "But, but, I need to call him back"
Me: "Did you not think to write his number down?"
Colleague: "I thought we had it"What does assume make? ASS out of U and ME.