Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Womens logic

Me: "I'll cook tonight love."
Wife: "OK."

Later that day.

Me: "What would you like me to cook?"
Wife: "The dog needs a walk he's not been out all day."
Me: "No problem I'll take him"
Wife: "I'll put some chips in the oven."
Me: "Cool."

So the dog gets outside sniffs left and right and wants to go back indoors.

Wife: "Don't tell me he didn't want to go?"
Me: "You know what he's like."

A little while later.

Me: "Thanks for the burger and chips love that was nice."
Wife: "I knew you wouldn't cook."

Friday, 15 July 2011

Switch it off and on again

Customer: "Hi Pete you know how I keep having to reboot my router to get a good service well it's getting a bit silly now"
Me: "Erm you didn't need to reboot your router, you had some machines infected on your network that was banging every port under the sun!"
Customer: "Well when I reboot the router it's fine for about half an hour?"
Me: "Yes because you severed the link to the Internet when you rebooted the router, once the connection was re-established the spyware or whatever it is started banging the ports again!"
Customer: "Oh erm?"
Me: "Even a blind man could see that?"
Customer: "What shall I do?"
Me: "I'll give you the machines IP take it off the network, clean it get some anti spyware and bollock the user"
Customer: "Can you do that then?"
Me: "Yes"

Thank god it's Friday