Tuesday, 19 February 2013

How much?

Customer: "I'm upgrading CAD and apparently I need 16 Grand of memory."
Colleague: "Bwahahahahaha"

16GB

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Clean me.

Customer: "I've been sent an email from Russia but ESET Anti Virus has quarantined it."
Engineer: "And?"
Customer: "Well I want to read it."
Engineer: "But it clearly has a virus?"
Customer: "Can you read it?"
Engineer: "No, it has a virus."
Customer: "Should I get them to send it again then?"
Engineer: "You can but I suspect that too will be infected."
Customer: "Is there a way to stop ESET quarantining it?"
Engineer: "Yes, get the sender to clean the viruses off their machine."

Mankind has reached it's evolutionary peak.

Monday, 11 February 2013

No pleasing some people.

Customer: "Is xyz there?"
Me: "I'm afraid he's at lunch."
Customer: "Well he was logged into my machine and I cant close the box."
Me: "Oh, well as I said he's at lunch. If you're desperate, reboot the PC that will sever the link."
Customer: "Cant you close it?"
Me: "I do not have access to his machine, I don't know the password."
Customer: "I need to sort some stuff out on my machine."
Me: "Well this is why I suggested rebooting. If you can hang on xyz will be back in say an hour."
Customer: "Nobody will be here, I need to go out."
Me: "Well reboot then?"
Customer: "But I don't want to do that."
Me: "Then wait for xyz"
Customer: "But I need this stuff now."
Me: "I have no other solutions for you."

/me smacks head off desk!