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Showing posts from March, 2015

The responsibility grenade.

That moment when you dig out a maintenance contract and find it was last updated in 2000!

Me: "Remind me again who is responsible for reviewing contracts?"
A-another: "Well it's not my customer!"
Me: "That's an interesting concept, I was under the impression customers are everyone's responsibility?"

Pete the bastard

Had a phone call form a guy trying to sell to us.

Caller: "Hi, can I speak to xyz please regarding our fantastic whizzo solution?"
Me: "I'm afraid he's out for the day but maybe I can help you?"
Caller: "Oh, can I ask who I'm speaking to?"
Me: "No."
Caller: "No?"
Me: "No"

That wasn't on your crib sheet was it? :-D

Too late.

Wife: "Do you want anything from the town today Bubb?"
Me: "Ermm? Kylie Minogue?"
Wife: "Shame, she's only there on a Tuesday."

Damn!

Summer dress

Earlier this morning the wife announced she would be putting a dress on today.

Wife: "What do you  think bubb?"
Me: "Very nice, it makes a change to see you in a dress, I was beginning to think I was married to a bloke!"

Even the dog laughed

How old?

A female customer of mine.

Customer: "Hi Pete, we need a couple of replacement computers."
Me: "OK any idea what you have now?"
Customer: [After some guidance] "They're P4 2.66 with 1GB of memory."
Me: "I'm coming up there and I'm going to spank you, no seriously I am! Is there a little man at the back shovelling coal in the back of them? You do know Shakespeare wrote his plays on them!"
Customer: [Laughing uncontrollably] "Well they still work."
Me: "Yeah right , that's why you're replacing them. You do know we've gone metric as well don't you?"

More uproarious laughter.

Make em smile.

Me: "Actually I was surprised you placed another order, you did say you wouldn't be a regular buyer?"Customer: "To be truthful your style of customer treatment kept your name uppermost in my mind." Me: "Ah, so effectively you came back for more just in case you'd dreamt it? Customer: [Laughing uncontrollably] "Pretty much, yes."
If you can make em laugh you've got em by the short and curlys. :-)

Lottery win

Hannah: "Hey dad I won £20 on the Lotto!"
Monique: "I won £10"
Me: "I didn't win anything with my two tickets but hey I won the lottery of life with my beautiful wife and two beautiful daughters."
Wife: "Your dad's after something"

O_o