Are you serious?

Me: "Hi there XXX I'm ringing about the £800 labor costs outstanding for 5 months now" Customer: "Well I thought all those costs was covered under warranty" Me: "No, Warranty covers the hardware not the labour" Customer: "Well I didn't know it was a refurbished Server" Me: "Oh come on XXX not only did you know but in fact you are on your 3rd replacement server which we have not charged you a penny for!" Customer: "Well what about the backups?" Me: "What about them?" Customer: "They're not being done" Me: "I don't understand what do you mean they are not being done?" Customer: "Nobody has done a backup" Me: "Erm thats your responsibility you need to do it" Customer: "Well what about the BroadBand?" Me: "What about it?" Customer: "I thought the price was for everything" Me: "We seem to be getting nowhere, at the en...

Customer: "Hello I need to send a picture but the girl who normally does that sort of thing is not in until mid week" Me: "OK do you know how to attach a file to an email?" Customer: "No but I know how to create emails" Me: "OK can you see that paper clip? click on it and it becomes a browse feature, browse to where the picture is, select it and say OK, its attached"" Customer: "I cant see it" Me: "Do you know where it is? Is it in /my documents/Pictures?" Customer: "No its on my desk" Me: "Ah your desktop OK lets browse to ........." Customer: "No no I mean its on my desk I'll have to scan it in, how do I do that?" And people wonder why we cant compete against the rest of the world.

Customer: "Hello can you give me a price on a computer package?" Me: "OK are you a home user?" Customer: "Yes" Me: "OK we are really for business but I can give you some numbers of companies that can help you, when you say package what do you mean are you looking for a new computer?" Customer: "If the price is right I want it for my kids so they can write stuff we have a computer here" Me: "Aha, you have a computer? Then you just need an office package." Customer: "My computer is broken" Me: "OK give xxxx a call he can either fix yours or give you a price for a replacement" If I'd have sold her a unit she would have been on the phone every day "We cant play this, how do I do that?",

Customer: "Can you check our Broad Band we cant seem to get on the Internet and we have not had any mail since Friday" Me: "Your lines been ceased!" Customer: "Oh I think we haven't paid the bill" Me: "That'll do it" :'-) What more can I say?