Are you serious?

Me: "I'll cook tonight love." Wife: "OK." Later that day. Me: "What would you like me to cook?" Wife: "The dog needs a walk he's not been out all day." Me: "No problem I'll take him" Wife: "I'll put some chips in the oven." Me: "Cool." So the dog gets outside sniffs left and right and wants to go back indoors. Wife: "Don't tell me he didn't want to go?" Me: "You know what he's like." A little while later. Me: "Thanks for the burger and chips love that was nice." Wife: "I knew you wouldn't cook."

Customer: "Hi Pete you know how I keep having to reboot my router to get a good service well it's getting a bit silly now" Me: "Erm you didn't need to reboot your router, you had some machines infected on your network that was banging every port under the sun!" Customer: "Well when I reboot the router it's fine for about half an hour?" Me: "Yes because you severed the link to the Internet when you rebooted the router, once the connection was re-established the spyware or whatever it is started banging the ports again!" Customer: "Oh erm?" Me: "Even a blind man could see that?" Customer: "What shall I do?" Me: "I'll give you the machines IP take it off the network, clean it get some anti spyware and bollock the user" Customer: "Can you do that then?" Me: "Yes" Thank god it's Friday