Are you serious?

ACT1 SCENE1 Colleague:  "Quick everyone, come and look at this new virus!" [Porn video playing on laptop] Me:  "And what if our receptionist walked in? Is there no end?

*ACT1 SCENE1* " _Why you no listen?_ " *Me:* "Hi can I have the Italian BMT please?" *Subway_Girl:* "What would you like on it?" *Me:* "Erm? Err? Jalapeño peppers?" *Subway_Girl:* "Don't you want any meat?" *Me:* "Sorry, what do you mean?" *Subway_Girl:* "What meat do you want on your sandwich?" *Me:* "I want the Italian BMT, look that one up there on the menu board." *Subway_Girl:* "Do you want cheese?" *Me:* "Yes I would like cheese." *Subway_Girl:* "Salad?" *Me:* [crushed and crying] "Yes I would like salad." *Subway_Girl:* "Sauce?" *Me:* [Hanging from the hand rail] "No, no thank you just my sandwich." *Subway_Girl:* "Would you like a drink?" *Me:* [Calling through the floor boards] "No, no thank you I must get back to work" *Subway_Girl:* "It's 9p cheaper if you have a drink" *Me:* [Waving a white flag] &q