Are you serious?

Me: "I'm calling with regards your ESET Anti-Virus. I sent an email, it's due to expire in 13 days now." Customer: "Yes it's come up amber, can you send us a quote?" Me: "I have, that's what the email was about. Somebody read it as I was notified?" Customer: "What email address did you send it to?" Me: "Yours." Customer: "Ah yes, as soon as I can get into my machine I'll sort it out." If you read it why do you need a quote?

Yellow Smartie: "Pete did we do a flier last night?" (Which is code for why didn't we do....) Me: "Because it was Tuesday" Yellow Smartie: "What do you mean?" Me: "Today is Wednesday, our flier is due out today." Yellow Smartie: "Why did I think it was Tuesday today?" Me: "Maybe because I was off Monday?" You won't catch me out that way . :-)

So the wife was having problems with a co-worker last night and was talking in general about it to her manager. Wife: "Does he have a problem with women?" Manager: "Dunno, he has been married 40 years?" Wife: "Ah that explains it." ROTFLMAO