Are you serious?

Customer: "I think our printers broken? I've tried two brand new toner cartridges and it won't print." Engineer: "Do you want us to come out and look at it? As you know it's chargeable." Customer: "You might as well get us a new printer." Engineer: "OK." Three days later. Engineer: "Hey Pete, you know that printer for xyz? I've installed the new one. I also found out what was wrong with the old one." Me: "What was it?" Engineer: "She hadn't pulled the safety tab off the side of the toner." Me: "Bwahahahaha"

I run an opt-in mailing list and send out something like 70+ PC's and laptops. As you'd expect there's a brief run down of CPU, Memory etc. So some bright spark sent me and email asking " Can you supply the generations of the CPU's and the CLOCK speeds of all the memory on every unit please. " Fook Off I quoted (Actually I under-priced it tbh) to replace a screen on a laptop, inadvertently I was not making any money on the actual screen but at least was making money on the installation. Had an email. "Do you have a courier service? If I send it to you it will cost money and I would expect a discount on the price you quoted." Fook Off

So I'm doing yet another ZenCart site for a customer. The latest version 1.5.1 requires PHP 5.5 which meant we had to set up a dedicated LAMP server, which actually is about time. I did all the usual PITA stuff of changing permissions on folders so it installs and that [supposedly] was fine. Now the default template is pretty nasty to say the least so I had a quick punt around and found a suitable one and installed that. But wait, what's this? WARNING: An Error occurred, please refresh the page and try again. Really? What kind of error? A hint would be nice? Now your first thought is "This must be a template related error as the default one works?"  so after some searching (And time wasting I hasten to add.) I find that supposedly ZenCart does not turn on Layout Boxes by default. You have to go in there and turn them on, but wait! WARNING: An Error occurred, please refresh the page and try again. WTF now? Oh yes, clicking on Tools -- Layout boxes controller ...