Are you serious?

I have a customer who needs; 1 X Adobe Creative Suite. 10 X Office 2010 Business Edition. 1 X Corel Draw. As usual we put a request in to our suppliers for some prices. Ever the efficient account manager at one of our suppliers they came back with; Adobe Creative Suite, OK no problem there? Office 2010 Student edition, What? And finally Coral Draw for Mac! Now your taking the piss? Now this is not a 'one off' this sort of thing happens on a regular basis, now is this poor product training or just that the individual does not care so slaps any old thing on the the quote? This sort of thing causes a problem thats out of proportion to the requirement, what I mean is it causes a delay so getting back to my customer takes longer, we now have to make a repeat request this time pointing out their errors which on a 'bottom line' basis means we are already down on the deal having had to use more resources. Get it right first time and we are all happy.

Customer: "Hi its Mandy here from XXXXX we have a problem with a printer we purchased from you" Me: "When did you purchase it, I'm sure it was not recently?" Customer: "I think it was six months ago maybe longer" Me: "Oh OK it was they way you said purchased from you as if it was the other day" Customer: "No no, there must be something wrong with it the printing is very faint" Me: "Er needs a new cartridge" Customer: "Really? Its only six months old you sure its not broken?" Me: "I'm certain" See if you hadn't of quizzed me about when that printer was purchased I could have scammed a new one out of you.

So I sent out a mail flier advertising some TV's, we don't normally deal in that kind of thing but times are tough at the minute. I had an email this morning; Customer: "I am interested in two of the TV's on offer the TV needs to fit into a recess in my caravan so I am trying to work out which one will fit" I have no Idea, I don't know your caravan!

Me: "Hi there XXX I'm ringing about the £800 labor costs outstanding for 5 months now" Customer: "Well I thought all those costs was covered under warranty" Me: "No, Warranty covers the hardware not the labour" Customer: "Well I didn't know it was a refurbished Server" Me: "Oh come on XXX not only did you know but in fact you are on your 3rd replacement server which we have not charged you a penny for!" Customer: "Well what about the backups?" Me: "What about them?" Customer: "They're not being done" Me: "I don't understand what do you mean they are not being done?" Customer: "Nobody has done a backup" Me: "Erm thats your responsibility you need to do it" Customer: "Well what about the BroadBand?" Me: "What about it?" Customer: "I thought the price was for everything" Me: "We seem to be getting nowhere, at the en...

Customer: "Hello I need to send a picture but the girl who normally does that sort of thing is not in until mid week" Me: "OK do you know how to attach a file to an email?" Customer: "No but I know how to create emails" Me: "OK can you see that paper clip? click on it and it becomes a browse feature, browse to where the picture is, select it and say OK, its attached"" Customer: "I cant see it" Me: "Do you know where it is? Is it in /my documents/Pictures?" Customer: "No its on my desk" Me: "Ah your desktop OK lets browse to ........." Customer: "No no I mean its on my desk I'll have to scan it in, how do I do that?" And people wonder why we cant compete against the rest of the world.

Customer: "Hello can you give me a price on a computer package?" Me: "OK are you a home user?" Customer: "Yes" Me: "OK we are really for business but I can give you some numbers of companies that can help you, when you say package what do you mean are you looking for a new computer?" Customer: "If the price is right I want it for my kids so they can write stuff we have a computer here" Me: "Aha, you have a computer? Then you just need an office package." Customer: "My computer is broken" Me: "OK give xxxx a call he can either fix yours or give you a price for a replacement" If I'd have sold her a unit she would have been on the phone every day "We cant play this, how do I do that?",

Customer: "Can you check our Broad Band we cant seem to get on the Internet and we have not had any mail since Friday" Me: "Your lines been ceased!" Customer: "Oh I think we haven't paid the bill" Me: "That'll do it" :'-) What more can I say?