Are you serious?

Customer: "I'm trying to archive off my emails, when I click file and archive it says it's doing it but when I go to the archive folder they're not all there?" Me:  "When you say not all there what do you mean?" Customer:  "There's still loads in the folder I want archiving." Me:  "What date have you set?" Customer:  "What do you mean date?" Me:  "You have to tell it a date to archive from, so lets say you want to archive all mails prior to 2011." Customer:  "Ah, ooh, err, Oh, it's erm? It's done it now." Me:  "Please take yourself off and smack yourself up the back of the head." I actually said that by the way, well it is Christmas after all. xxx

Supplier: "Can I speak to Samantha please?" Me: "She works 11am till 3pm" Supplier: "I know." Me: "Sorry? But it's It's 3:15pm now! She's finished for the day." Supplier:  "I was hoping she was working over." I want my mummy . :'(

Customer: "I'm after a laptop for my daughter for Christmas." Me: "Anything in particular?" Customer:  "I saw an Acer in PC World for £250 odd, but I thought you could give me a discount." And that's why the economy is down the crappa folks, we're already thinking of how we can shaft the people we are buying from before they've even had a a chance to tell you what the price is!

Me: "I'm calling with regards your ESET Anti-Virus. I sent an email, it's due to expire in 13 days now." Customer: "Yes it's come up amber, can you send us a quote?" Me: "I have, that's what the email was about. Somebody read it as I was notified?" Customer: "What email address did you send it to?" Me: "Yours." Customer: "Ah yes, as soon as I can get into my machine I'll sort it out." If you read it why do you need a quote?

Yellow Smartie: "Pete did we do a flier last night?" (Which is code for why didn't we do....) Me: "Because it was Tuesday" Yellow Smartie: "What do you mean?" Me: "Today is Wednesday, our flier is due out today." Yellow Smartie: "Why did I think it was Tuesday today?" Me: "Maybe because I was off Monday?" You won't catch me out that way . :-)

So the wife was having problems with a co-worker last night and was talking in general about it to her manager. Wife: "Does he have a problem with women?" Manager: "Dunno, he has been married 40 years?" Wife: "Ah that explains it." ROTFLMAO

This is why I'm crushed. Customer: "Pete is it possible to block all emails that start with Hi in the body of the mail for one user?" Me: "What? Are you serious? You cant really want that?" Customer: "That's the instruction I've been given." Me: "But all you'll do is in a month or so's time is come on the phone screaming a particular mail has not arrived." Customer: "Is it something you need to do or do I need to do it on my exchange box?" Me: "You need to do it on yours, sorry, bye." Click brrrrrrrr