Are you serious?

One of 'the lads' spoke to a customer who's ancient PC had died and gone to PC power supply heaven. I quoted a replacement and we received the customers old machine earlier this morning.  Having signed for it I took it to our workshop: Me: "So here's that PC from XYZ, the new one is in the stock room." I then watched in disbelief as he started to attach network cable, keyboard and mouse, power cable and then press the on button. Engineer: "It's dead!" Me: "I know? So should you? You spoke with the customer who said it was dead! That's why you asked me to quote a new one. Are you with us today or what?" Engineer: "I hate you." Bwahahahaha

Why on earth would you take time out of your business to visit us for two and a half hours then during that time inform us we lost a deal we'd quoted for yet continue to waffle on about nothing of any value?

This was an email from an IT Manager to us earlier today. Customer: "Do you have any idea how Sage Line 100 is installed on a new PC to access a central server installation? I have tried putting the shortcut from another computer with the full path to this machine, but it gives me missing DLL errors. It then says try reinstalling the program." Because shortcuts are programs aren't they?

Here's one that epitomises the title of this blog. Customer: "Can you quote me for some refurbished monitors please?" I sent them a 'options' quote Refurb 17" TFT £20.00 Refurb 19" TFT £25.00 Refurb 22" TFT £30.00 They sent an email back Customer:  "Can you quote me for four please?" I replied "Which ones?" They emailed back Customer: "Whichever ones are available." #facepalm

Part of the training I give relates to calling people for data cleansing purposes. You get to speak to some very strange people at businesses with even stranger ideas about discussing their company! Today there was a prime example of the silliness of people and how I train my colleagues to overcome their blocking tactics. Having gone through most of the address details. Telesales: "And could I just take an email address for Malcolm?" Prospect: "We don't give out email addresses." Telesales: "OK, could I have your companies generic address then?" Prospect: "As I said we do not give out email addresses!" Telesales: "Oh OK, it's not a problem, I'll get the address from your website." Prospect: "What? Wait? What? Oh OK it's.........." Nothing is secret anymore.

As some of you may know I had the two big toe toenails removed last week. Me: "Come and rub my feet will you?" Engineer: "Fook off will I rub your manky feet!" Me: "See, this is exactly the attitude I was talking about. Uncooperative and bolshy."

Customer: "Yes we'd like you to search his computer, we have reports he's looking at porn all day." Engineer: "Umm? These 583 bookmarks and 1.5GB of images might answer that question." Priceless.