Are you serious?

Developer : "Hi Pete, can you get the CNAME changed to point to the new hosting location for the website?" Me : "Sure but can I ask a question, how come you've not asked us to host the site?" Developer : "Oh, if I'd know you did hosting I would have come to you." So let me get this straight, you create websites for people, you should then at least understand how domain names tie into websites and email so it goes without saying if we host the domain then it's pretty obvious we do website hosting isn't it Einstein?

So I've been flogging my guts out every day walking and swimming. After a lunchtime walk I had a conversation with our receptionist who has been with us about eight months now. Samantha: "All this walking, maybe you should start walking to work?" Me: "Funny you should say that, It's about seven miles to my house by car but there's a public footpath that's about four mile. I was thinking of maybe getting a bike." Samantha: "Is that along the canal?" Me: "Well the disused one, yes. But it looks muddy in places?" Samantha: "I used to run to Walsall along that." Me: "Run to Walsall? From Cheslyn Hay?" Samantha: "Yes" Me: "How long did that take?" Samantha: "Three hours." Me: "Get lost run to Walsall." Samantha: "Pete, I used to do long distance running. I used to run for the county" Me: "Get lost and don't speak to m...

The showers of my local Leisure Centre Woman: "Well that's my 60 lengths done in 30 minutes." Me: "Actually I'm really happy with my 50 lengths in 50 minutes." At that point the 187 year old woman shuffled out the shower.

Idiot: "Hello, this is < unintelligible> from HP. Can you tell me the person responsible for purchasing toner cartridges in your organisation?" Me: "We don't purchase them." OK, that's not strictly true. We do purchase them, now and again, from suppliers but not from distribution. Idiot: "OK, can you tell me who's in charge of purchasing them then please?" Me: "Aye? How can there be anyone in charge of purchasing them if, as I've already said, we don't purchase them?" Click, Brrrrrrrrrrrr Me: "Hello?"

Idiot: "Hello, this is < unintelligible> from HP. Can you tell me the person responsible for purchasing toner cartridges in your organisation?" Me: "We don't purchase them." OK, that's not strictly true. We do purchase them, now and again, from suppliers but not from distribution. Idiot: "OK, can you tell me who's in charge of purchasing them then please?" Me: "Aye? How can there be anyone in charge of purchasing them if, as I've already said, we don't purchase them?" Click, Brrrrrrrrrrrr Me: "Hello?"

I went to the doctors last week because my legs and feet are swelling up like balloons. As expected they took bloods, however I did say "Don't bother with the cholesterol, I know it's through the roof." the reason they were taking bloods was to make sure my kidneys could withstand the water tablets I was hoping to get. last night I went back for the results. Nurse: "Ah Peter, your here to talk about your cholesterol?" Me: "Erm? No." Nurse: "Oh? You had some bloods taken last month?" Me: "Erm? No, last week." Nurse: "Why are you here?" Me: "For my results?" Nurse: "What was you tested for? Maybe I should look at the notes." Well duh! Me: "I was tested to make sure water tablets didn't kill me. My legs and feet are up and down like yoyo's" Nurse: "Ah, well your heart is fine, your liver is fine and your kidneys are fine, however your cholesterol has increas...

I received a telephone call out the blue from a company supposedly based in Buckinghamshire, at least that's what their website says. Caller: "Hi, I got your details from your website, I understand you provide computers. Do you do parts as well?" Me: "Yes we do." Caller: "OK, I'll send you a list of our requirements, can you quote me please?" Me: "Certainly." An email arrived asking for some branded laptops, base units and CPU's which I duly quoted. A little while later I received an email back. Caller-Email : "Thanks for the quote, I've spoken to our accounts department and your prices are acceptable. They have asked if this order could be on a 30 day credit account?" Me-Email: "Sadly we will require full payment prior to order. This is because we have no trading history with each other. I'm confident once we have processed a few transactions with each other an 'invoice' relationshi...