Customer: "Hi Pete can you tell me, are you doing our backups?" Me: "In what sense?" Customer: "Do you do them do you back our server up?" Me: "I suspect not but surly Simon in Yorkshire can answer that?" Customer: "He says he backs up his but not ours." Me: "Before they bought you out, when was that? Two years ago? Did you used to put tapes in?" Customer: "Yes but we stopped when they bought us." Me: "Why?" Customer: "We just assumed they'd sort it out, I have no idea where that tapes are by the way" Me: "So you've not had a backup for two years then?" Customer: "Suppose not." Oh dear looks like you'll need a new backup solution how about a snapshot automated with a cron job?
Customer: "I can't open an attachment on an email" Me: "I thought you had winzip installed?" Customer: "I do but the icon in the attachment won't open" Me: "Hang on you can open the attached zip file then?" Customer: "Yes but the word icon inside is not opening" Me: "Can you right click it please, what's it say in the property's?" Customer: "shortcut to O:/Customers/quotes/blahblah" Me: "They've sent you the shortcut not the file ask them to send the document" So we have two Muppets, the one who sent the shortcut and the recipient who doesn't know what a shortcut is.
Customer: "The screen is not working." Me: "Screen? What screen?" Customer: "This screen its not working." Me: "Do you mean your monitor?" Customer: "Yes I tried it on another computer and its still not working" Me: "It's probably dead then you may need to replace it." Customer: "Cant you send someone out to fix it I'm busy toady." Me: "Nobody really fixes monitors these days let me look at your details and I'll come back to you." Customer: "What am I going to do in the meantime?" Make a cup of tea? No sugar for me thanks.
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