Thursday, 5 May 2016

The darkness.

Customer: "My computer comes on and then goes off."
Me: "Well that's descriptive?"
Me: "OK, when you power it on is there lights next to the button? Are they on?"
Customer: "Oh yeah, they're on, there's just nothing on the screen."
Me: "Is that on?"
Customer: "Yes"
Me: "OK, have a look on the back of the PC, see that blue block with what looks like screws either side. Push it in, in fact the screws need doing up"
Customer: "Ooh the computer has come on now!"
Me: Yeah, you need to stop jigging around. You've kicked the cable out, just sit still for pity's sake."

It's not funny really, we get hundreds of calls like that every day. At least do a little bit of investigation before picking the phone up to your support company. #facepalm

No Internet?

Laughing at other peoples mistakes is human nature.

The company I work for is also an independent ISP (Internet Service provider) I've honestly lost count of the amount of times people have inadvertently ceased their Broadband for two reasons:

1. Not bothering to spend a couple of hours to find out what the line is and what's on it.

2. (My favourite) Thinking they're clever and can save a few quid by cancelling a landmine.

Monday, 25 April 2016

The pool is closed.

So I'm going to Malta in a couple of months time, I booked through a company that's more famous for burring you in the UK. TBH the whole process has been a nightmare, what with airports being changed, pre flight hotel being booked wrong, seriously, it takes a good three or four minutes to read all the notes associated with our booking and we've not even gone yet!

Friday I came home to a distraught wife, "There's a problem with the hotel, something about building work, they're writing to us." Are they? Well I'm still going down there.

Rep: "Yes Mr Cannon, unfortunately the work has overrun so the roof top pool, jacuzzi and terrace restaurant is closed."

Me: "Closed? CLOSED? it's no longer there! They ripped the roof off to build two extra storeys to the place!"

Rep: "As I say, the work has overrun."

Me: "Somebody must have known about this? You just don't decided to put two extra storeys on a hotel over a weekend."

Rep: "We can only go by what we're told."

Me: "You guys seem to say that a lot about everything, is that your stock answer?"

Some backwards and forwards later.

Me: "So you're saying by the time I go I won't be having wall plaster in my coffee, turps in my grapefruit juice then? You watch, I'll get there and our room won't have the balcony we paid for."

Rep: "It's in you paperwork, 'quiet room with a balcony' you'll be fine."

Me: "It said Birmingham airport in my paperwork originally, I'm flying from Manchester now!"