Wednesday, 24 August 2016
Samantha: "All this walking, maybe you should start walking to work?"
Me: "Funny you should say that, It's about seven miles to my house by car but there's a public footpath that's about four mile. I was thinking of maybe getting a bike."
Samantha: "Is that along the canal?"
Me: "Well the disused one, yes. But it looks muddy in places?"
Samantha: "I used to run to Walsall along that."
Me: "Run to Walsall? From Cheslyn Hay?"
Me: "How long did that take?"
Samantha: "Three hours."
Me: "Get lost run to Walsall."
Samantha: "Pete, I used to do long distance running. I used to run for the county"
Me: "Get lost and don't speak to me, I'm closing me door"
Monday, 22 August 2016
Wednesday, 17 August 2016
Idiot: "Hello, this is <unintelligible> from HP. Can you tell me the person responsible for purchasing toner cartridges in your organisation?"
Me: "We don't purchase them."
OK, that's not strictly true. We do purchase them, now and again, from suppliers but not from distribution.
Idiot: "OK, can you tell me who's in charge of purchasing them then please?"
Me: "Aye? How can there be anyone in charge of purchasing them if, as I've already said, we don't purchase them?"