Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Guess work

I might walk funny but I ain't got crystal balls.

Customer: "Hi Pete, I need three bits of software."
Me: "OK, what are you looking for?"
Customer: "One of them is Photoshop."
Me: "And the other two?"
Customer: "Ooh I forget now?"
Me: "Maybe you should ring me back when you remember?"
Customer: "Oh? OK."

#facepalm

Friday, 31 October 2014

Halloween starts early.

This afternoon is definitely warming up for Halloween!

1: Guess who?
Customer: "I had a notification from SAGE for an upgrade but they also said some software patch had to be put on. Can you tell me if it's been done?"
Me: "By whom? Us or Sage"
Customer: "I don't know I've been off for two days."

What?

2: I can't open it.
Customer: "I'm trying to do a scan and it says cannot open scanner."
Me: "But you only had a manufacturer engineer out yesterday and they was working fine?"
Customer: "I know."
Me: "Silly question, the scanner is on I take it?"
Customer: "Oops"

I give up.

3: Ghost in the machine.
Customer: "Is Dave there?"
Me: "No, he was with you?"
Customer: "Oh, they left a while ago. I need to know if they sent an email while they was here. XYZ says I sent an email cancelling some payments but I wasn't in at 1pm?"
Me: "With the greatest respect, why on earth would Dave do anything like that? And more importantly what has installing a printer got to do with emails?"
Customer: "Oh so you don't think it was him then?"
Me: "Er? no."

Is it home-time yet pretty please?

Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Little man.

Me: "Your misses is fecking gorgeous, feck knows what she sees in you?"
Engineer: "I know, especially when I have such a small penis?"

ROTFLMAO