Wednesday, 25 February 2015

Shrug.

Customer: "Pete, why has the hard drive failed?"
Me: "I have no idea, I know lets ask Cortana"

Keywords: 'Plane' and 'Head' :-(

Monday, 23 February 2015

Who's the boss?

It's the wife's birthday next month.

Wife: "Yes your dad's off that week."
Daughter: "But you don't want to be doing DIY on your birthday?"
Wife: "I'm not but you're dad is!"

O_o

Saturday, 21 February 2015

Do you know what you're doing?

B&Q's (diy.com) 8:40am

Me: "Can you move out the way love so I can scan these items."
Wife: "I need to watch you with these you can never seem to work them!"
Me: o_O

Three items in.

Me: "Bubb what are you doing? Don't touch anything, you can't pick anything up till I've finished!"
Wife: "Don't talk rubbish."

Beep Beep Beep
[PLEASE WAIT FOR AN ASSISTANT! ITEM REMOVED FROM BAGGING AREA!]

Me: "I told you not to touch it."

A minute or so later the misses fed the machine with £20 notes.

Me: "Bubb where you going?"
Wife: "Tsk I have my change."
Me: "Wait for your notes out the bottom."

Out popped a £5 note, seems I do know how to work them? :-D