By whom?

An IT manager for a fairly big organisation.

Customer: "Pete, that Adobe Acrobat Pro is a bit expensive. Can you have a look on your Microsoft Partner account and see if they do a cheaper one?"

Me: "Umm? The clue is in the name, Adobe? It's not a Microsoft product."

Can I borrow.......

Customer: "Hi have you got a four or five port KVM switch lying around we could borrow for a few weeks and a Switch? We have some testing we need to do on old machines."

Me: "Hmm? I'm not sure. I might have some PS2 ones but I suspect you'll want USB?"

Customer: "If we have to buy something you can get some cheap Belkin's"

Me: "I think you might have to buy them tbh."

What a surprise. :-D

We bought it elswhere.

Customer: "Hi we've just bought a new printer, just a quick question. Do I set it up via the WIFI or the disc that came with it?"

Me: "I take it you didn't buy it from us?"

Customer: "Well, no."

Me: "In that case we can set it up for you but obviously we'd charge you. The thing is, if you'd have bought it from us we'd be happy to set it up for you. I suggest you use the install disc that came with it."
Customer: "Oh, OK I'll have a go with the disc then."

Art of complaint

Walking towards the kitchen I overheard a member of staff moaning. While waiting for the kettle to boil I started slapping my my face with my mouth slightly open emitting a sound from the slapping.

Brad: "What the hell are you doing?"

Me: "Joining in with you!"

Brad: "What?"

Me: "Playing me face."

Badumtish I'm here all week folks.

And the lunchtime game is.........

Slap your backside while the Engineer is on a support call.

Engineer: "I'm sorry can I just put you hold. Pete, what the hell are you doing?"

Me:"Playing Passenger by Iggy Pop on my arse."

Engineer: "I hate you!"


Had a call from one of our customers.

IT Manager: "Can you put me through to Dave now please."

Me: "I'm afraid he is out on-site at the minute."

IT Manager: "Presumably at a lesser customer than us?"

Me: "All of our customers are important."

I'm blocked!

"We have been sending emails to but they are saying that they are being blocked by their system, could you look into this please and see if there is a problem."

Erm? yes there is a problem.
What can I do about their system?