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Importance

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Had a call from one of our customers.

IT Manager: "Can you put me through to Dave now please."

Me: "I'm afraid he is out on-site at the minute."

IT Manager: "Presumably at a lesser customer than us?"

Me: "All of our customers are important."


I'm blocked!

"We have been sending emails to A-user@someaddress.com but they are saying that they are being blocked by their system, could you look into this please and see if there is a problem."

Erm? yes there is a problem.
What can I do about their system?
#facepalm

That's you that is.

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Have you ever noticed how some people have a recurring personal trait?

I know one individual who literally works themselves up into a frenzy about things that haven't happened yet. As an example, there was a vacancy coming up and they really wanted the job. Nobody had even submitted an application and yet the individual was practically bursting a blood vessel over who would be applying, who might be in with a chance and what the potential vetting procedure might be. All this before the vacancy was officially posted!

There is also another individual I know who spends days if not weeks complaining about a task they have to complete and yet doesn't even make an attempt to start. I think they hope that someone will say "Tell you what, I'll do that for you." the individual just aggravates everyone by constantly moaning about it and then, which is the most ridiculous bit, they finally ask someone to do it for them when the time has run out!


It's who you know.

Texted my plasterer last night to see if either he was willing to climb up on the roof of Castle Cannon or if he knew anyone who was interested in risking their life walking the battlements to replace the tiles. He texted back "Will pop round in the morning."

Saturday 08.40

Me: "Hi Paul, thanks for coming round. You're not climbing up there are you?"

Paul: "Na mate, I just came round to have a look and wet myself laughing."

Even the plasterer disrespects me. :-(

He's going to get his 'roofer' cousin on the case.

Ye Olde Play

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A sleepy Morrisons in a leafy shire of merry old England.
Me: "Hi, can I have two of those sausages with chips please?"

Assistant: "Is that the three sausage deal?"

Me: "Oh god no, I couldn't do three sausages!"

Assistant: "Well there's the small deal which is one sausage?"

Me: "Here's a cunning plan, I'll have the single sausage deal and buy another sausage separately."

Assistant: "I suppose you could do that."

Me: "Yes, I suppose I could."


Whose Fault?

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And the winner of the most ridiculous support request goes to:

"Our site is under attack from IP xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx SAMSUNG-ANDROID is this anything to do with the server issue you had last week?" #facepalm