Monday, 24 October 2016

In Awe.

Customer: "Hi, our Director has not had any emails since Friday."

Me: "OK, is everyone else receiving emails?"

Customer: "Yes"

Me: "And is this in the office or away from the office, on a mobile or laptop?"

 Customer: "My director says in the office."

Me: "And who is it?"

Customer: "One of the Directors!"

Me: "I need a name otherwise how do I know what to look for?"

Customer: "Oh, OK........"


Monday, 10 October 2016

Early to bed.....

We have a set routine in our house. I generally get up around 5:30am then My daughter Monique gets up at 5:45am and then my other daughter Hannah gets up at 6:00am

This morning I heard Hannah in the bathroom and so shot out of bed to make the drinks figuring I'd slept in. I bring the girls a coffee at 5:45am but obviously, because I thought we were running late, I made them straight away. As I brought them up the stairs I said to Hannah "Your sister is working today isn't she?" Hannah retorted "Yeah, she must have set her alarm for six."

After drinking my coffee I went for a wash and a shave and put my jogging kit on ready for my morning two laps of the park. Monique flew out her bedroom and said "Have the clocks gone forward? My iPhone and Ipad say 5:30am" Hannah and I both told her not to be so silly AND CARRIED ON getting ready, it really should have registered what Monique said.

I left the house with my usual "Have a good day at work girls." and set off for the park, "It's a bit dark?" I thought, and it was dark, in fact through the wooded part of the park it was pitch black! "This is funny" I thought, I haven't seen any dog walkers of other joggers?" Having done two laps I headed back home and noticed hardly any traffic, "This is dead weird?" as I got home I had a look at my watch in the porch...........


"You've got us all up an hour early."

The wife and Monique: "We know!"

Thursday, 6 October 2016

Ramming Speed! - Ben Hur

When I moved to the Midlands many moons ago one of my first jobs was at a Tube Polishing company. Basically I stood at a machine and fed tubes down it all day every day till they were sparkly bright. The 'Gaffers' hated the machines being idle but sadly they had to be turned off so they could be cleaned of swarf every day, the thing could get clogged up or even possibly catch fire if not. The Gaffers would pace up and down looking at their watches yelling "Come on, come on!"

Today we are fitting a graphics card to a PC at one of our customers, the conversation went as follows:

Customer: "So how long will it take?

Me: "Umm? 15 - 20 minutes? Basically we have to shut it down, take the side panel off, remove the blanking plate, fit the card, put the side panel back on, start the PC, probably install the drivers. TBH it might not even take that long but I'm allowing for any problems."

Customer: "Hmm? OK, we can live with 20 minutes I suppose?"

Have I walked through a worm hole and been transported back to 1986?