Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Taking Liberties

Customer: "Hi, it's XYZ here. We mapped some drives on Friday and one of our ladies has come in today and the drive we mapped as i: keeps dropping out."

How in Odin's name is this covered under maintenance and more importantly what makes you think we should fix something you did for free? #TakingLiberties

Thursday, 9 October 2014

Free advice

Customer: "Hi Pete, can you tell me my browser type and number please?"
Me: "What?"
Customer: "The bank has asked me in relation to a problem."
Me: "They're asking you what browser you use."
Customer: "What's one of those?"
Me: "What?"
Customer: "What's a browser?"
Me: "It's what you go on the Internet with, do you use Explorer?"
Customer: "Yes"
Me: "Well there you go then."
Customer: "Oh? And what about the number?"
Me: "It will be on the about us"
Customer: "What's that then?"
Me: "Left click the cog, click on about, there's the number they want."
Customer: "Oh"
Me: "That'll be £65.00 please"
Customer: "Bwahahahaha"

Sorry, did I say something funny?

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Be specific!

I'm hungry!

Me: "Can I have corned beef salad on a crusty baguette please?"
Assistant: "We don't have any crusty baguette's."
Me: "Crusty bread then?"
Assistant: "We don't have any crusty bread."
Me: "Well what's that there then?"
Assistant: "That's a Panini."
Me: "But it looks like a crusty baguette?"
Assistant: "Yes it does a bit."
Me: "I'll have that then."

Shoot me, shoot me now!