Thursday, 23 October 2014

Pick one.

Customer: "Will they be installing the anti-virus?"
Me: "No?"
Customer: "Why not?"
Me: "You didn't order it, I sent you a quote."
Customer: "Oh, was I meant to choose one then?"

#facepalm

Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Point through the window.

Customer: "Hi Pete"
Me: "Hi Bill, I was just talking about you."
Customer: "In a nice way?"
Me: "Hmm?"
Customer: "Oh, what have I done now?"
Me: "I heard what you did, you wanna look on the Internet after getting me to spend my valuable time getting you the specs aye?"

[Sounds of uproarious laughter]

Customer: "Oh well, you've gotta play the game."
Me: "Not with me my son, I'm an Essex boy!"

[More laughter]

Customer: "Don't I know it!"
Me: "So here's the deal. When you buy it off the Internet rather than you thinking you're awesome coz you saved a few quid, when it goes wrong I'm gonna come round your place, sit outside your window with me ipod on laughing and pointing at your broken kit"

[More laughter]

Me: "How can I help you?"
Customer: "Well, one of our PC's is playing up and............."
Me: "I'm gonna come round your place, sit outside your window with me ipod on laughing and pointing at your broken kit!!"

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Taking Liberties

Customer: "Hi, it's XYZ here. We mapped some drives on Friday and one of our ladies has come in today and the drive we mapped as i: keeps dropping out."

How in Odin's name is this covered under maintenance and more importantly what makes you think we should fix something you did for free? #TakingLiberties