Friday, 27 May 2016


Customer: "The touchpad on my laptop has stopped working"
Me: "You'll have to get it to us so we can have a look."
Customer: "Well I can't at the minute and I need it."
Me: "OK, well you can plug a USB mouse in it, it'd work then."
Customer: "Oh no, I can't be doing with that."
Me: "Well you'll have to send it to us then, there's nothing I can do over the phone."
Customer: "Oh no! I can't do without it. I need it for my work."
Me: "Well as I say you can plug a mouse in."
Customer: "Oh I can't deal with this now, I'll ring you back."

Go figure?

A good shade

Engineer: "You know those glasses that made me look like a pedo? They don't look so bad now I've had my hair cut."
Me: "Yeah, not too bad now."
Engineer: "Once I get the beard tidied up they'll probably be OK."
Me: "Here let me have a go, although if I remember right they look terrible on me."
Engineer: "LOL, no mate. It's not a good look."
Me: "How dare  you! I have a face for shades!"
Engineer: "To be fair they're, £60 glasses and I've yet to see them look good on anyone!"


Friday, 20 May 2016

Sound of silence.

Me: "You put the phone down on me!"
Customer: "The line went dead?"
Me: "I'd stopped talking for a few seconds."
Customer: "Oh."