Are you serious?

Customer: "I'm trying to archive off my emails, when I click file and archive it says it's doing it but when I go to the archive folder they're not all there?" Me:  "When you say not all there what do you mean?" Customer:  "There's still loads in the folder I want archiving." Me:  "What date have you set?" Customer:  "What do you mean date?" Me:  "You have to tell it a date to archive from, so lets say you want to archive all mails prior to 2011." Customer:  "Ah, ooh, err, Oh, it's erm? It's done it now." Me:  "Please take yourself off and smack yourself up the back of the head." I actually said that by the way, well it is Christmas after all. xxx

Supplier: "Can I speak to Samantha please?" Me: "She works 11am till 3pm" Supplier: "I know." Me: "Sorry? But it's It's 3:15pm now! She's finished for the day." Supplier:  "I was hoping she was working over." I want my mummy . :'(

Customer: "I'm after a laptop for my daughter for Christmas." Me: "Anything in particular?" Customer:  "I saw an Acer in PC World for £250 odd, but I thought you could give me a discount." And that's why the economy is down the crappa folks, we're already thinking of how we can shaft the people we are buying from before they've even had a a chance to tell you what the price is!