Showing posts from June, 2015

Personal Service.

As some of you may know I had the two big toe toenails removed last week.

Me: "Come and rub my feet will you?"
Engineer: "Fook off will I rub your manky feet!"
Me: "See, this is exactly the attitude I was talking about. Uncooperative and bolshy."

Any porn?

Customer: "Yes we'd like you to search his computer, we have reports he's looking at porn all day."
Engineer: "Umm? These 583 bookmarks and 1.5GB of images might answer that question."


Flower Power.

The misses has bought some artificial flowers, they were sat on the kitchen windowsill last night when I came home. They're Ok, mind you what would I know about flowers anyway? I wasn't convinced they looked right where they were but after many years I have learnt to keep quiet on such matters.

Wife: "Bubb, do these look OK on the telephone table?"
Me: "TBH I wasn't convinced they looked right on the windowsill anyway."
Wife: "So they're alright there then?"
Me: "Thing is, I liked the glass vase one that was on the telephone table."
Wife: "So you don't like it there?"
Me: "Tell you what leave it a day or so and see how we feel."
Wife: "I'll put it back in the kitchen."
Me: "OK if you like."
Wife: "You're so annoying! You moan you never get to choose stuff in the house and when I ask you about something you can't make your mind up!"
Me: "Ermm? I did say leave it a day or…

Why me?

Me: "How come it's always me who has to sort out the problems and complaints?"
Colleague: "Because you actually care about the customers."
Me: "I'm not sure if that's a compliment or a sad indictment?"