Dear Nanette Newman Please protect me from junior, inexperienced sales people.
PFY: "I think I may have infected my PC? I was talking to a bloke and I thought he was sending me an order so I opened the word attachment on the email but all that was there was a URL so I enabled editing so that I could click on the link and now I think I'm infected. Thing is, I also sent it to my colleague and he's opened it too."
Me: "So let me get this straight. You're sent an email with nothing on it with a .doc attachment. This doesn't concern you so you open the attachment which effectively is empty too and you are still unperturbed? Throwing complete caution to the wind you then effectively disable a security feature by enabling editing and click on the link in the .doc file and then, not content with that nightmare you send it to your colleague and get him to do everything you've done thereby infecting you both!"
Customer: "Hi we've just bought a new printer, just a quick question. Do I set it up via the WIFI or the disc that came with it?"
Me: "I take it you didn't buy it from us?"
Customer: "Well, no."
Me: "In that case we can set it up for you but obviously we'd charge you. The thing is, if you'd have bought it from us we'd be happy to set it up for you. I suggest you use the install disc that came with it." Customer: "Oh, OK I'll have a go with the disc then."
Have you ever noticed how some people have a recurring personal trait?
I know one individual who literally works themselves up into a frenzy about things that haven't happened yet. As an example, there was a vacancy coming up and they really wanted the job. Nobody had even submitted an application and yet the individual was practically bursting a blood vessel over who would be applying, who might be in with a chance and what the potential vetting procedure might be. All this before the vacancy was officially posted!
There is also another individual I know who spends days if not weeks complaining about a task they have to complete and yet doesn't even make an attempt to start. I think they hope that someone will say "Tell you what, I'll do that for you." the individual just aggravates everyone by constantly moaning about it and then, which is the most ridiculous bit, they finally ask someone to do it for them when the time has run out!
Texted my plasterer last night to see if either he was willing to climb up on the roof of Castle Cannon or if he knew anyone who was interested in risking their life walking the battlements to replace the tiles. He texted back "Will pop round in the morning."
Me: "Hi Paul, thanks for coming round. You're not climbing up there are you?"
Paul: "Na mate, I just came round to have a look and wet myself laughing."
Even the plasterer disrespects me. :-(
He's going to get his 'roofer' cousin on the case.
Signed up for a trial of a product promoted by Google. We already have one of the family of services on offer so an integrated addition might be beneficial. Within twenty minutes of the account being created a sales rep was on the phone!
Rep: "How many people will be using the product?" Rep: "Will you just be using it internally or in conjunction with your customers?" Rep: "When will you be purchasing the product?"
Now I pride myself on being a pretty diligent salesperson but at least let me take the wrapper off and have few licks before pouncing.
Me: "But surely it makes sense if we are being invoiced monthly then we should invoice monthly?"
Dave: "No, it's too much hassle to invoice every month. We'll invoice once a year!"
Me: "But if they cancel then we'll have to credit the remainder? Plus you'll need to keep on top of who's had what and when at the year end when you say you'll invoice? Effectively your invoices will be all over the place as you invoice different customers at different times? At least on a monthly basis all relevant customers are billed at the same time regardless of join date?
Dave: "You don't understand, it's too much hassle."
Three months later
Dave: "We're going to start invoicing on a monthly basis."