A female customer of mine.
Customer: "Hi Pete, we need a couple of replacement computers."
Me: "OK any idea what you have now?"
Customer: [After some guidance] "They're P4 2.66 with 1GB of memory."
Me: "I'm coming up there and I'm going to spank you, no seriously I am! Is there a little man at the back shovelling coal in the back of them? You do know Shakespeare wrote his plays on them!"
Customer: [Laughing uncontrollably] "Well they still work."
Me: "Yeah right , that's why you're replacing them. You do know we've gone metric as well don't you?"
More uproarious laughter.