Going halves.

The wife has just called.

Wife: "Virgin Media are here and they want to splice off our cable for next door."
Me: "Tell them no!"
Wife: "You tell them!"
Virgin Media: "It's not a problem it would only be for two weeks."
Me: "It is a problem! You don't just turn up at my house and say I'm gonna splice off your cable, I get a bad enough signal as it is, catch up is hit and miss if you can watch it or not and as for navigating the box....!"
Virgin Media: "Well I'll tell next door you said no then."
Me: "I beg your pardon? Don't try and make out it's my fault! Why can't you just replace his cable?"
Virgin Media: "It's a two man job."
Me: "So let me get this right, it takes one man to splice off my cable yet two men to re-run his cable?"
Virgin Media: "It's OK"

Few second later.

Wife: "He's doing it now."
Me: "Doing what?"
Wife: "Running next doors cable. He doesn't look very happy?"
Me: "Fook him cheeky sod."

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