Customer: "Can I speak to Dave please?"
Me: "I'm afraid I've just put a call through to him."
Customer: "Any idea how long he will be?"
Me: "How the fook would I know? Do I look like pigging 'Mesmo the psychic reader'? I know, why don't I jump in my time machine, nip forward an hour or so, ask Dave how long he was on the phone for, nip back and tell you how long he will be. Maybe I can get the answer from the Tarot cards or ancient runes?"
Me: "I'm sorry I have no idea.