Oi, Waterboy!


I went to the doctors last week because my legs and feet are swelling up like balloons. As expected they took bloods, however I did say "Don't bother with the cholesterol, I know it's through the roof." the reason they were taking bloods was to make sure my kidneys could withstand the water tablets I was hoping to get.




last night I went back for the results.

Nurse: "Ah Peter, your here to talk about your cholesterol?"
Me: "Erm? No."
Nurse: "Oh? You had some bloods taken last month?"
Me: "Erm? No, last week."
Nurse: "Why are you here?"
Me: "For my results?"
Nurse: "What was you tested for? Maybe I should look at the notes."
Well duh!
Me: "I was tested to make sure water tablets didn't kill me. My legs and feet are up and down like yoyo's"
Nurse: "Ah, well your heart is fine, your liver is fine and your kidneys are fine, however your cholesterol has increased."
Me: "Yes, well, as I say, I know about the cholesterol. Now about my legs?"

Cut a long story short, I didn't get any tablets, the nurse says its the heat THE HEAT? I'm wearing a sleeveless jumper today! She tried to tell me that the heart deals with all the waste??? "So it's not the kidneys and liver that cleans everything then? No wonder I did crap at school. Damned biology teachers!" this particular nurse is fixated on cholesterol, it was clear she was building up to putting my swelling down to it.

Me: "Sooo, I take it you won't be prescribing me any tablets then?"
Nurse: "No, you don't need them, you just need to change your diet and put your feet up."

As I left the consulting I muttered under my breath "I'll get right on it and hand in my notice tomorrow." put my feet up. Sheesh.

Oh, one good thing though. I was convinced my liver was shot to pieces, seems I was wrong. I'll have a large Bushmills please.


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