User: "My PC has a black screen and says something about an issue and I need to log on to the domain. It's been complaining on the banking site, something about updating Silverlight."
Me: "OK, when did you last update?"
User: "Update? I back up every..."
Me: "No update, Windows update, Microsoft update."
User: "Oh I never do that, Sarah looks after things like that on her machine but she's not here."
Me: "What? Her machine? Never mind. Hold the power button in for me until the PC goes off."
User: "Do you mean the button I push to make it come on?"
Me: [While stabbing my upper thigh with a fountain pen] "Yes"
Windows startup sound
Me: "Ah, it's starting I can hear"
User: "Well I got this far before, it's taking ages"
Login Prompt sound
Me: "Well there's the login, that was pretty quick imo. Put your password in."
Sound of login
User: "Well that's working now! What was wrong?"
Me: [Resisting the urge to say PEBAK] "No idea, goodbye."