Customer: "Hi Pete one of the guys has spilled a full cup of coffee in their Laptop"
Me: "Oh dear, that will have killed it possibly"
Customer: "Yeah I guessed as much, the screen was still running so I switched it off quick and removed the battery"
Me: "Hm you might be lucky, stick it on its side and drain the liquid leave it to dry out and try switching it on"
Customer: "Yeah done all of that apart from switching it on will try that later"
Conclusion: So why the hell are you ringing me?