The great god of gloom is riding his charger along the corridors of our offices today

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Don't worry I'm good for it.

Prospect: "Hi Pete, I was given your details buy your customer xxyz, I was hoping you can do something similar to this?" The link was to a well known electrical outlet in the UK offering a 24" screen and an incredible speck'd machine for the ridiculous sum of £499 Me: "I'm afraid there is no way I can match the prices of a multi-million pound organisation." It then transpired that the machine was 'Home edition' which was no good for his domain set-up so I offered to quote him an alternative but forewarned him it was not going to be an "El Cheapo" price. I quoted him a really nice open boxed Dell with a 21" monitor and surprisingly only a couple of hundred more that the sale item he asked me about. Prospect:  "Does the monitor have speakers?" Me: "Sadly not but I can do some reasonable ones for £6.00" Prospect:  "How about I don't have the keyboard and mouse and you give me the speakers?...
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My wit is bigger than yours

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Why do people waste time and effort either sending a tirade of abuse to an email they have no interest in or, which is even worse, put extra effort into composing what they believe to be a witty message? Email from Prospect: "Your web proxy blocking box is an interesting idea however I've been sacked for following you on Twitter" Email from Me: "That's a real shame you should sign up with LinkedIN http://www.linkedin.com you could get a much better job with a better employer who appreciates a member of staff that uses every communication tool to promote their business for them. :-) Enjoy" Only one problem, I'm now just as bad as the people I'm moaning about. :-(
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You taking the P?

Me: "Have you come to a decision about the email hosting?" Customer: "I'm waiting on xx to come back to me they do Websites as well" Me: "OK but what about the email are they going to host that too?" Customer: "Oh I didn't ask" Me: "But when we spoke last week about the fact you was not currently paying us to host your email yet getting email hosting services you said thats why you was going to ring xx" Customer: "Ah, well I'm hoping they will ring back today" Me: "OK listen Jon I'll ring you Tuesday of next week shall I?" Customer: "Well as you know I'm semi retired I wont be in until Wednesday and then I'm off to Florence for a week" Me: "Well I need to get this resolved, you are in fact getting a service for free at the moment I'm sure if I asked you to start transporting stuff around the country without any payment you wouldn't be very happy?" Customer:...
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