I've been watching a documentary on television called Royal Navy Caribbean Patrol its yet another fly on the wall program showing what our brave lads and lasses of HMS Manchester are doing to combat the drug smuggling from Colombia etc, Its been fairly enjoyable lots of speed boats with burley Marines boarding ships and boats and having small victories over the drug cartels.
Last nights episode I'm sorry to say had me in fits of hysterics and all for the wrong reasons. HMS Manchester came upon a Go-Fast a sort of supped up speedboat abandoned at sea "Oh jolly good this will give the chaps some fun and a bit of target practice." said the captain.
First up was one of Manchester's main pieces of armament its 115mm gun "whoar" this thing lobbed shells at the Go-Fast great plumes of water erupted and a couple of direct hits was scored! As the froth and spray cleared the Go-Fast sat there happily bobbing about, "Hm?" OK next up (I think) was the ships Lynx helicopter which hovered over the boat spraying bullets and death down on the bobbing embarrassment which still refused too die.
HMS Manchester edged closer and next up was the 20mm cannon this merrily punched holes in the boat yet failed to bring about its demise so into play came the Minigun better known to you and me as a Gatling gun these proceeded to fire off a billion rounds at probably £1.00 a bullet and all to no avail.
OK lets put a man aboard her with and Axe, we then see a poor able seaman hacking at the floor with said Axe and still the Go-Fast refuses to sink so they turn her over, nope "She's still float-in cap'in" right then here's a saw cut some holes in the hull.
They saw some holes pour petrol through said holes into the sea I presume, then a Marine fires a hand gun from the prow of Manchester at the Go-Fast to set it alight!
I have a sneaking suspicion that even that failed as while we saw shots being fired we never actually saw it burst into flame just 'on fire' as Manchester proudly moved on.
Poor old Nelson is wearing a patch over both his eyes on that one.