Customer: "My computer comes on and then goes off."
Me: "Well that's descriptive?"
Me: "OK, when you power it on is there lights next to the button? Are they on?"
Customer: "Oh yeah, they're on, there's just nothing on the screen."
Me: "Is that on?"
Me: "OK, have a look on the back of the PC, see that blue block with what looks like screws either side. Push it in, in fact the screws need doing up"
Customer: "Ooh the computer has come on now!"
Me: Yeah, you need to stop jigging around. You've kicked the cable out, just sit still for pity's sake."
It's not funny really, we get hundreds of calls like that every day. At least do a little bit of investigation before picking the phone up to your support company. #facepalm