Customer: "The touchpad on my laptop has stopped working"
Me: "You'll have to get it to us so we can have a look."
Customer: "Well I can't at the minute and I need it."
Me: "OK, well you can plug a USB mouse in it, it'd work then."
Customer: "Oh no, I can't be doing with that."
Me: "Well you'll have to send it to us then, there's nothing I can do over the phone."
Customer: "Oh no! I can't do without it. I need it for my work."
Me: "Well as I say you can plug a mouse in."
Customer: "Oh I can't deal with this now, I'll ring you back."